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Gigli ★ 2003 (R)

The one where Ben met Jen. The title is pronounced “Geely” and is the last name of small-time mobster hitman Larry (Affleck). His latest job is to kidnap and babysit a prosecutor's mentally impaired brother (Bartha in his film debut) as leverage in mob boss Starkman's (an overacting Pacino) trial, but he begins to feel sorry for his hostage. So his worried boss Louis (Venito) decides to send Ricki (Lopez), another contract killer, to keep an eye on them. Oh, and Ricki's a lesbian, which doesn't preclude Larry hitting on her. Not quite as bad as most of Madonna's oeuvre but the film's vulgar comeon of “gobble, gobble” succintly describes the movie—it's a turkey. 124m/C VHS, DVD . US Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Justin Bartha, Christopher Walken, Al Pacino, Lainie Kazan, Missy (Melissa) Crider, Lenny Venito; D: Martin Brest; W: Martin Brest; C: Robert Elswit; M: John Powell. Golden Raspberries ‘03: Worst Picture, Worst Actor (Affleck), Worst Actress (Lopez), Worst Director (Brest), Worst Screenplay.

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