Nobody's Baby

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Nobody's Baby ★★ 2001 (R)

Poor man's “Raising Arizona” with Ulrich and Oldman playing hick vs. hick in the battle for an orphaned baby. Orphaned themselves at a young age, hillbilly brothers Billy and Buford have turned to crime, facing hard prison time and a court-ordered separation from one another until they escape from the paddy wagon on the way to the big house. Splitting up, dim Billy triggers a car crash which kills everyone aboard except a baby. Absconding with the child, Billy gets aid caring for the tot from truck stop waitress Shauna (Mitchell). Buford joins the party with the plan to ransom the kid off to still-living relatives, only to discover Billy has grown attached to the young-un. Slapstick antics ensue as the two attempt to secure funds to raise the child as their own. Only Ulrich is able to bring any interest to the weak, patchy script and unmemorable performances. 113m/C VHS, DVD . Skeet Ulrich, Gary Oldman, Radha Mitchell, Mary Steenburgen, Gordon Too-toosis, Anna Gunn, Peter Greene, Ed O'Neill, Matthew Modine; D: David Seltzer; W: David Seltzer; C: Christopher Taylor; M: Brian Tyler, Joseph Vitarelli.