10,000 B.C. ★ 2008 (PG-13)
In some prior “mythical age” on earth, tribal peoples (who all speak different languages; lucky for us, one of them is English) live on a land ruled by nature and spirits. D'Leh (Strait), a young hunter, and Evolet (Belle), the blue-eyed beauty, are lovers in a remote mountain tribe. Evolet is kidnapped by a band of raiders and D'Leh heads out to save her. D'Leh and his small crew meet up with other civilizations along the way and soon there's an army behind him. Good thing, as it turns out that his mission isn't just to save Evolet, but civilization, too. All of which sounds okay in theory, but on screen it falls especially flat in all its cheesy computer-generated glory. The special effects are cheap, the supposedly prehistoric actors too gorgeous, and the whole thing doesn't even try to make sense, with woolly mammoths trotting about at the same time pyramids are being erected. Stick with “The Flintstones.” 109m/C DVD . US Steven Strait, Camilla Belle, Clifford Curtis, Joel Virgel, Ben Badra; D: Roland Emmerich; W: Roland Emmerich, Harald Kloser; C: Ueli Steiger; M: Harald Kloser, Thomas Wander; Nar: Omar Sharif.