Blackwoods

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Blackwoods woof! 2002 (R)

It's just like a M. Night Shyamalan movie… only much, much worse. Uwe Boll, Germany's answer to Ed Wood, directs this pointless thriller that apes every third-act twist cliche in the book. Matt (Muldoon) and Dawn (Tracy) drive up to the “Blackwoods” to visit Dawn's hillbilly family, but after check ing into a creepy motel (staffed by Clint Howard, no less), Dawn disappears and crazy axe-wielding psychos start attacking Matt. It's all leading up to one big twist that's telegraphed further than a ten-meter cattle prod. Honestly, if you can't figure out the whole movie in the first five min utes, you should put down the airplane glue and move your trailer away from the power lines. 90m/C VHS, DVD . GE CA Patrick Muldoon, Keegan Connor Tracy, Michael Pare, Clint Howard, Will Sanderson, Matthew (Matt) Walker, Anthony Harrison, Janet Wright, Sean Campbell, Ben Derrick; D: Uwe Boll; W: Robert Dean Klein, Uwe Boll; C: Mathias Neumann; M: Reinhard Besser.