The Pacifier

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The Pacifier ★½ 2005 (PG)

Schwarzenegger had “Kindergarten Cop,” Hulk Hogan had “Mr. Nanny,” and wooden Diesel has this. Shane Wolfe is a Navy SEAL who fails to prevent the death of a scientist at the hands of terrorists and is then assigned to protect the scientist's five kids and find some top-secret disk hidden in their home. Mom Ford is conveniently absent for much of the time. He retrofits his gadgets to hold baby formula and other child-friendly necessities and tries to promote military discipline on the bratty, unwilling clan. There's also a pet duck who doesn't like the new babysitter. It's all obvious and silly. 95m/C VHS, DVD . US Vin Diesel, Lauren Graham, Faith Ford, Brittany Snow, Max Thieriot, Chris Potter, Morgan York, Scott Thompson, Carol Kane, Brad Garrett, Tate Donovan, Denis Akiyama, Mung-Ling Tsui; D: Adam Shankman; W: Robert Ben Garant; C: Peter James; M: John Debney.