Middle East

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Middle East

Children under the age of fifteen constitute the majority of the population today in most Middle Eastern countries. This burgeoning population is challenging many long-accepted assumptions about children's needs, development, and future. In this entry we will outline the old cultural ideal of childhood and then turn to the new conditions which bring this ideal into question.

Childhood and family patterns have, until recently, been similar across religious and ethnic lines: the extended family was the fundamental unit of the society; the patrilineal model was basic to that family ideal; and childhood was seen as a time, not of play, but of learning and training for the duties and responsibilities of adulthood. Some significant differences also obtained: the ban on divorce among Christians, for instance, in contrast to Jews and Muslims, meant that the world of the child, as well as of the adult, was not always the same. But overall, similarities were greater than differences.

In the predominantly agrarian societies of the past, the primary social unit across the Middle East was the extended family, which might range in size from twenty to two hundred people, related on both sides of the marital connection, and which operated together for survival. Within this kin group, each child received identity, affection, discipline, role models, and economic and social support, ideally from birth to death. In exchange the family required conformity and loyalty from all members, beginning in early childhood. The crucial test of allegiance came at the time of marriage, when the son or daughter either acceded to or rebelled against the wishes of the family. Marriage in this system was not officially perceived as an emotional attachment between individuals (though this might develop later) but as an economic and social contract between two family groups, which was to benefit both. Although marriage was a crucial step in tying individual members to the group, it was the birth of children that conferred full adult status on both the man and the woman. Only after the birth of children were the newly married man and woman considered full members of their particular family and adult members of the wider society. Such attitudes toward marriage and children are found in Christian and Jewish groups, but within Islam they are intensified. "When a man has children he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear God for the remaining half," states one of the hadith, or sayings of the Prophet Muhammad. Children have always been valued in Middle Eastern traditions, not only for economic and political but also for religious reasons.

The Jewish, Christian, and Muslim family systems are patrilineal; that is, in the reckoning of one's descent, kin-group membership passes through the male line on the father's side. A girl is a member of her father's family, but un-like her brother, she cannot pass that membership on to her children. In the Islamic tradition, male and female descendants of the same father inherit from him, and continue to carry his name throughout their lives. A daughter never takes her husband's surname for example, but retains, like a son, the name of the father. The patrilineal system is hierarchically organized, with the oldest male ideally holding publicly accepted authority over his descendants, and acting as the primary economic provider of the group. He remained head of the group and controller of its economic resources, including the labor of its members, as long as he lived. Without issue, and particularly male issue, the kin group as traditionally constituted could not continue. Children were on the lowest rung of the group in terms of power. But their presence was crucial, for they were the generational link to the family unit, the key to its continuation, and the living person that tied the present to the past and to the future. Hence great pressure was placed on newly married couples to produce children, particularly sons, who could carry the name and take over the burden of supporting the family. Daughters were also important, to help mothers and grandmothers and as potential brides for men within the larger kin group, but sons were of primary importance.

Specific instructions about the care and training of the child are found in Jewish, Christian, and Muslim texts. Many ethnographies document attitudes toward small babies—great indulgence, on-demand breast-feeding, and affectionate behavior from mothers, fathers, older siblings, and relatives. This pattern included early toilet training, often before the age of one year, and either long-term breast-feeding or abrupt weaning, the latter taking place when the next child was born. Weaning marked the end of parental indulgence and the beginning of socialization into specific gender roles. The prophet Muhammad is reported to have said, "Be gentle to your children the first seven years, and in the following seven be firm." Jewish attitudes might be summarized as "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself causes shame to his mother" (Prov. 29:15). Discipline began long before the age of seven. Girls as young as four or five were expected to share responsibility for a younger sibling; small boys would be given responsibilities such as caring for animals in rural areas; in urban areas, the boy would be asked to run errands or help in the family business. Such expectations are still common.

Socialization for other societal norms of behavior began almost as soon as the child was conscious of others. These included respect for food, for religion, for the kin group, hospitality to guests, and above all, respect for and obedience to the authority of the father. According to the Egyptian sociologist Hamed Ammar, a Muslim, a good child is one who is a muaddab, polite and disciplined, and conforming to the values of the group. The goal of child rearing was to instill and develop reason, which was seen to be necessary for successful adult life. Jewish and Christian families had similar expectations. The child's period of socialization was also marked by ritual events, such as ceremonies surrounding birth and naming; circumcision for all boys and some girls; and successful completion of religious schooling, whether Judaic, Christian, or Muslim. Religious socialization took place in the home for both boys and girls and also in local religious schools. Although circumcision of boys was more or less universal, circumcision of girls was not. Female circumcision has no religious justification in Judaism, Christianity, or Islam, but is a traditional cultural practice found mainly along the Nile, among both Christian and Muslim groups. Girls in North Africa had a different rite of passage, an ear-piercing ceremony, held when the child was four or five years old.

The cultural ideals of the past meant, in sum, the primacy of the group over its individual members; the importance of children, especially sons, to continue and maintain the group; and the dominance of the father. Religious ideology reinforced this ideal. It began to be questioned at the end of the eighteenth century, with invasions by European powers, colonial rule, and then resistance and revolution followed by independence and the emergence in the mid-twentieth century of modern nation states.

The nineteenth and early twentieth century were periods of political and economic upheaval. European colonial rulers denigrated traditional patterns: language, traditional technology, folklore, modes of subsistence, religion (Islam, the majority religion in the area, was seen as "the stagnant hand of the past"), and social structure. However, Western influence did not, as had been expected, disrupt the patrilineal model of family or the perception of childhood as a time of learning and preparation for adulthood. Rather, as colonialism became stronger and men found their authority diminished, the family became the last refuge where traditions of child rearing, socialization for male and female gender roles, and parental authority could still operate. The only exception was the institution of the kibbutz, or collective farm, in the area which would become the state of Israel in 1948. Early Jewish immigrants had, as early as the 1920s, set up kibbutzim as conscious alternatives to the old patriarchal system that operated in the European countries where the immigrants had grown up. The kibbutz was organized so that not only economic activities were collective, but so also were child rearing, parenting, and schooling. The experiment continues in Israel today, though less than 5 percent of the population now live and work on kibbutzim.

In the modern nation-states of the contemporary Middle East, several important factors may eventually affect the traditional family system, and therefore the traditional view of childhood. The patriarchal system remains firmly in place, though movements continue for increased equality for women. Such movements, however, are focused not on destroying the family, but on giving more equality to men and women within the family. The introduction of universal free public education, mostly secular in nature, has resulted in an impressive climb in literacy rates (80 percent in Kuwait; 90 percent in Israel; 60 percent in Egypt; 90 percent in Jordan; 70 percent in Iraq). A middle class is rapidly developing in almost all countries, and the majority of people now live in cities, not rural areas. But unemployment plus spiraling inflation has led millions of men to migrate for work outside their countries and millions of women to work outside the home. Fathers are thus absent for crucial years in their children's lives, and mothers, too, are away for most of the day. Parental authority is thus no longer omnipresent. On the other hand, children are still being socialized for female and male roles. The high cost of living has led to children staying longer in their parents' residence, often contributing to family income. Young people are being forced to delay marriage, largely for economic reasons, which in turn is bringing down national birth rates. Television is everywhere, putting children and teenagers in touch with the outside world. All of these factors may lead to future change in the concept of childhood and the practices of child rearing for both boys and girls, but this has yet to be documented.