Bullies

An aggressive child who repeatedly victimizes a less powerful child with physical and/or emotional abuse.

Bullying usually involves an older or larger child (or several children) victimizing a single child who is incapable of defending himself or herself. Although much bullying goes unreported, it is estimated that in the average school an incident of bullying occurs approximately once every seven minutes. Bullying occurs at about the same rate regardless of class size or school size, but, for an unknown reason, rural schools appear to have a higher rate of bullying than urban or suburban schools. Even when bullying is reported, it is not always taken seriously by teachers and parents because many adults believe that children should learn to "stand up for themselves" or "fight back."

Although the stereotypical bully is male, girls engage in bullying behavior almost as often as boys. Their tactics differ, however, in that they are less visible. Boy bullies tend to resort to one-on-one physical aggression , while girls tend to bully as a group through social exclusion and the spreading of rumors. Girls who would never bully individually will often take part in group bullying activities such as "slam books," notebooks that are circulated among the peer group in which comments and criticisms are written about particular individuals.

Bullying begins at a very early age; it is not uncommon to find bullies in preschool classrooms. Up until about age seven, bullies appear to choose their victims at random. After that, they single out specific children to torment on a regular basis. Nearly twice as much bullying goes on in grades two to four as in grades six to eight, and, as bullies grow older, they use less physical abuse and more verbal abuse.

Until about sixth grade, bullies are not necessarily unpopular. They average two or three friends, and other children seem to admire them for their physical toughness. By high school, however, their social acceptance has diminished to the point that their only "friends" are other bullies. Despite their unpopularity, bullies have relatively high self-esteem . Perhaps this is because they process social information inaccurately.

For example, bullies attribute hostile intentions to people around them and therefore perceive provocation where it does not exist. "What are you staring at?" is a common opening line of bullies. For the bully, these perceived slights serve as justification for aggressive behavior.

In general, children who become the targets of bullies have a negative view of violence and go out of their way to avoid conflict. They tend to be "loners" who exhibit signs of vulnerability before being singled out by a bully. Being victimized leads these children—who are already lacking in self-esteem—to feel more anxious and thereby increase their vulnerability to further victimization. Being the target of a bully leads to social isolation and rejection by peers, and victims tend to internalize others' negative views, further eroding their self-esteem. Although bullying actually lessens during adolescence , that is the period when peer rejection is most painful for victims. In a number of well-publicized cases (in Scandinavia, Japan, and Australia, as well as the United States), adolescents tormented by bullies have been driven to suicide .

Evidence indicates that bullying is not a phase a child will outgrow. In a long-term study of more than 500 children, University of Michigan researchers discovered that children who were viewed as the most aggressive by their peers at age eight grew up to commit more (and more serious) crimes as adults. Other studies indicate that, as adults, bullies are far more likely to abuse their spouses and children.

TIPS FOR PREVENTING BULLYING BEHAVIOR

Parents and teachers can do a number of things to prevent bullying:

• All children should be given regular opportunities to discuss bullying and ways to deal with bullies. in role-playing exercises, for example, children can practice saying, "Leave me alone" and walking away.
• Children can be taught simple measures to lessen the likelihood of becoming the target of a bully. Looking people in the eye, speaking up, and standing straight are just a few behaviors that communicate self-confidence.
• Children who tend to be loners (potential targets of bullies) can be paired up with socially competent "models." Some children need a little help learning how to make friends.
• Because bullies are most likely to strike during unsupervised times such as recess, children should be provided with as much structured activity as possible.

Further Reading

Olweus, Dan. Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do. Cambridge, MA: Blackwell, 1993.

Further Information

Bullies and Scapegoats Project.

Educators for Social Responsibility. 23 Garden Street, Cambridge, MA 02138, (617) 492–1764.

National School Safety Center. 4165 Thousand Oaks Blvd., Westlake Village, CA 91362, (805) 777–9977.

89. Bullying

1. Chowne, Parson Stoyle terrorizes parish; kidnaps children. [Br. Lit.: The Maid of Sker, Walsh Modern, 94–95]
2. Claypole, Noah bully; becomes thief in Fagin’s gang. [Br. Lit.: Oliver Twist ]
3. Curley he picks on feeble-minded Lennie. [Am. Lit.: Of Mice and Men ]
4. Flashman, Harry unconscionably impudent and overbearing coward. [Br. Lit.: Flashman; Tom Brown’s Schooldays ]
5. hector street gang member (early 1600s). [Br. Hist.: Espy, 40]
6. Kowalski, Stanley crude humor, animal maleness. [Am. Lit.: A Streetcar Named Desire ]
7. McTeague forbidden to practice dentistry, he becomes mean and surly. [Am. Lit.: McTeague ]

bul·ly¹ / ˈboŏlē/ • n. (pl. -lies) a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker. • v. (-lies, -lied) [tr.] use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants. bul·ly² inf. • adj. very good; first-rate: the statue really looked bully. • interj. (bully for) an expression of admiration or approval: he got away—bully for him. bul·ly³ (also bully beef) inf. • n. corned beef.

bully a person who uses strength or influence to harm or intimidate others who are weaker. Recorded from the mid 16th century (probably coming from Middle Dutch boele ‘lover’), the original use was as a term of endearment applied to either sex; later becoming a familiar form of address to a male friend. The informal North American use of bully as an adjective to mean ‘first rate’ derives ultimately from this.
a bully is always a coward traditional association of overbearing behaviour with lack of fortitude when challenged; recorded from the early 19th century.

See also bully pulpit.

Bullying

What Is Bullying?

Who Are the Bullies?

Who Gets Bullied?

What Can Be Done About Bullying?

Resources

Bullying is when a person repeatedly intimidates or acts aggressively toward those with less power or ability to defend themselves.

KEYWORDS

for searching the Internet and other reference sources

School shootings

Violence

Sam looked at the clock and saw that it was almost lunchtime. He dreaded going to his locker, and he was kicking himself for putting his lunch there this morning. Sam knew Craig and Pete would be waiting for him at the lockers again. His face got red with anger and embarrassment remembering how yesterday, and the day before, they had pushed him against the lockers and grabbed his lunch, tossing it to each other high over his head so he could not get it back, taunting him about being short. He wished he would grow a foot taller like it seemed some of the sixth graders had done over the summer. He wished he had a black belt in karate. He wished his eyes did not fill up with tears when they pushed him and laughed. He wished these bullies would just leave him alone. Sam felt in his pocket to see if he had enough money to buy lunch in the cafeteria. He could hurry to catch up with Jack and Marc as soon as the bell rang, go straight to the cafeteria, and avoid the lockers altogether. Then he would just have to figure out how to steer clear of them on the bus ride home.

What Is Bullying?

Bullying is more than normal childhood conflict or occasional unkind words or actions between children; it is an early form of violence. Bullying is when a person gets singled out to be intimidated or picked on over and over again by someone who has more power. Bullying can be physical, verbal, or psychological.

About 1 out of every 10 children is bullied. That means that in an average elementary school classroom at least 2 or 3 children are being bullied. In some schools, more than half the students worry about being bullied. Children may avoid bathrooms, the cafeteria, or the playground for fear of being hurt, picked on, or humiliated by other children. Some children miss school days because of bullying. Others go to school feeling worried or sick and may have trouble concentrating because of it.

Who Are the Bullies?

Bullies can be boys or girls. Boys tend to bully with physical aggression and pick on those who are smaller or weaker than themselves. Girls are more likely to use mean gossip, unkind notes, or social forms of intimidation when they bully. Bullies are children who lack compassion and a sense of how other people feel. Bullies like to dominate others to feel powerful themselves. Many bullies have parents who have modeled aggression as a way to get what they want. Some bullies feel hurt or powerless inside because they have been bullied themselves. However, bullying is not a remedy for feeling powerless. Bullying gives only a false sense of power and usually costs a bully popularity, friendships, and more. As many as 1 of 4 children who are bullies in elementary school have a criminal record by age 30.

Who Gets Bullied?

While anyone can have trouble with a bully now and then, bullies tend to seek out those who are easiest to intimidate. Children who have few friends, cry easily, are timid or insecure, or have trouble sticking up for themselves are easy targets for bullies. Children who pester others, get easily upset, or lose self control may get bullied because the bully can get a big reaction from them. No one deserves to be bullied, and all children have a right to feel safe at school. Even children who do not get bullied are still bothered when they witness bullying in school.

What Can Be Done About Bullying?

The most powerful tool to stop bullies is adult authority. Adults can help by knowing that bullying is not normal childhood behavior, by being on the lookout for it, and by taking steps to end it before it escalates. In many cases, the presence of an adult is enough to discourage bullying. Sometimes children do not let anyone know that they are being bullied because they are ashamed or because they do not think that adults will help. Adults need to let children know that they will listen and help if they are told about bullying. Many schools have started bully-proofing programs that make it clear that bullying is not tolerated. The goal of these programs is to take power away from bullies and to shift power to the larger group of caring, responsible children. Another goal is to teach children how to respond to bullying whether they are being bullied or are a bystander to bullying.

A group of children bullies another student at school. Being physically surrounded and teased by a group can be especially frightening for the bullied child. Jennie Woodcock; Reflections Photolibrary/Corbis

See also

Conduct Disorder

Emotions

Fears

Oppositional Defiant Disorder

School Avoidance

Self-Esteem

Resources

Books

Garrity, Carla, Kathryn Jens, William Porter, Nancy Sager, and Cam Short-Camilli. Bully-Proofing Your School: A Comprehensive Approach for Elementary Schools. Longmont, CO: Sopris West, 2000.

Kaufman, Gershen, Lev Raphael, and Pamela Espeland. Stick Up For Yourself: Every Kid’s Guide to Personal Power and Positive Self-Esteem. Minneapolis: Free Spirit Publishing, 1999. For ages 8-13.

Romain, Trevor. Bullies are a Pain in the Brain. Minneapolis: Free Spirit Publishing, 1997. A light-hearted but practical guide for ages 8-13.

Organization

KidsHealth.org from the Nemours Foundation posts information about bullying and what to do about it. http://KidsHealth.org/kid/watch/out/bullies.html http://KidsHealth.org/teen/mind_matters/school/bullies.html

bully1 †sweetheart; fine fellow XVI; bravo. swashbuckler, (hence) tyrannical coward XVII; †hired ruffian; †protector of prostitutes XVIII. prob. — (M)Du. boel(e) (MHG. buole, G. buhle) used as a term of endearment or reproach.

bully3 (also bully beef) corned beef. XVIII. — F. bouilli boiled beef, sb. use of pp. of bouillir BOIL2.

bully2 (now esp. U.S.) capital, first rate. XVII. perh. arising from attrib. use of prec.