The Newt Before Christmas

The Washington Post | December 25, 1994| | Copyright

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the House

Not a creature was stirring, except for that louse

Newt Gingrich, who roamed through the halls acting brash

Waving his Contract and counting his cash.

They'd given him four million dollars to write

A book of his musings from way out on the right.

Four million bucks! What a deal! What a racket!

The thing they call chutzpah - Newt doesn't lack it.

"I'll keep all the money, except a small stipend

I'll give to start orphanages, hoping to ripen

A new group of voters in whose eyes I'll see

Their loyalty first, last and ...

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