Here lies Dave Smith

The Independent - London | May 14, 1997| | Copyright

The two men in the swanky West End art gallery are discussing the price of a nude. The woman in question lies supine on a bed of roses; buxom with pendulous breasts and a pot belly. She's going for pounds 11,000 but one of the men looks deeply unimpressed - big breasts or otherwise.

This man, a Mr Smith, boasts that he won five million in the lottery two months ago and has already bought a Rolls-Royce and a mansion in the country. Now he wants to get into art and impress his snooty neighbours, show them that he can get even with the toffs. The gallery owner nods sympathetically and smiles ...

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