1 Jason: As in the movie Jason and the Argonauts, with a young Tony Curtis in action mode. Not a god, Jason that is, but a Greek hero nonetheless. Nicked the Golden Fleece, and faced down the Harpies. Football skills unknown.

2 Theseus: Wrestled with the Minotaur, mythical half-man half- bull, much like Lorenzo Amoruso. In strode fearless Theseus to the Deadalus-designed Labyrinth, armed with a ball of thread. What a guy. My hero.

3 Hercules: Heroic figure would win the Champions League on his own, if he was still kicking about. He killed snakes, lions and boar, and terminated the ...

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