It's good to know that some people still like old-fashioned traditions.

Take Paris Hilton. What's more American than getting a patent?

Of course, her plan to copyright the phrase "That's hot" is misguided. Apparently, she is under the impression she has coined this catch-phrase.

I think that phrase has been around a little longer than Paris thinks. It was probably first uttered when, after one caveman discovered fire, another caveman walked over, put his hand in the flames and said, "That's hot."

That was also the invention of the contraction, by the way.

If Paris gets a patent for "That's ...

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