FED: Masturbate, spit in boss's coffee - all in a day's work

(Eds: Attention to potentially offensive nature of story -- refers to masturbation)

If the results of a new survey of workers in Australia and New Zealand are to be believed, then a typical work day would go something like this:

- 8am pick-up dry cleaning.

- 9.30am spit in boss's coffee

- 1pm masturbate

- 4pm pilfer office stationery.

Men's magazine FHM says it surveyed 9,000 people about their workday habits and editor JOHN BASTICK says the results…