Marriage and Divorce

Marriage and Divorce. Historically the preferred form of legal cohabitation, marriage is widely thought to promote social stability and individual well‐being, and to be the most desirable means to procreate and raise children. When, who, and how one marries and what constraints affect those choices have varied over time by social, legal, cultural, and economic circumstances. Anglo‐American attitudes traditionally embraced the inviolability of marriage and family, fostering social attitudes and laws that made divorce difficult.

During the Colonial Era and into the early nineteenth century, marriage functioned primarily as a pragmatic, economic, and procreative alliance, binding a couple and extended families together. Choosing a partner wisely was important, especially for a woman, in a period when divorce was difficult, for one's future happiness depended on that choice. New England Puritans saw marriage as a civil contract based on mutual consent, and to this end, they closely monitored courting procedures to insure sound decisions. Puritans believed that well‐ordered families fostered a well‐ordered society.

The length of marriage has varied significantly. In the past, death usually was the limiting factor; today divorce often plays this role. In the seventeenth‐century Chesapeake, marriages averaged only seven years owing to the high mortality rate. Serial marriages were common as successive spouses died, resulting in complex step‐family relationships. In the healthier New England climate, colonial couples experienced long marriages, creating more stable family situations.

Divorce was rare in the colonial period, because it was considered disgraceful, and was difficult to achieve, especially for women. Yet Puritans permitted marital dissolution under certain circumstances because they believed marriage and family life should be happy. Adultery, bigamy, and desertion were acceptable legal grounds. Acquiring an absolute divorce that permitted remarriage was complicated and expensive. Many unhappy spouses simply ran away or sought a legal separation. Before 1800, most divorce petitioners were male, but after the Revolutionary War, more women succeeded in obtaining divorces.

Southern colonies and states adopted more conservative policies concerning divorce; in the Antebellum Era, South Carolina prohibited it entirely. Elsewhere, equity and chancery courts handled the proceedings, as did colonial and state legislative bodies. The unhappy partner had to petition the legislature or court to plead his or her case. The marriage and divorce laws of each colony and state determined property rights, residency requirements, the minimum age for marriage, and other rules relating to marriage and divorce. By the mid‐nineteenth century, states began to turn over divorce proceedings to courts and to codify laws rather than operate on an ad hoc basis.

When women wed, they forfeited the property rights that they enjoyed as single women. This situation did not begin to change until 1839, when Mississippi became the first state to protect married women's property rights. By the early twentieth century, many states had granted wives the right to control their own property and earnings.

Slaves faced a different situation. Although not allowed to marry legally, since this would have interfered with masters' rights to sell slaves and separate couples, they did wed. Finding a partner could be difficult; many slave couples lived apart on separate plantations. When nearby, a man and woman might move in together, with or without a formal ceremony. Slave breeding that forced couples to marry and procreate existed, but was rare. Dissolving a slave marriage occurred when a couple simply decided to terminate their relationship.

The marriage ritual has varied from an informal exchange of vows before a judge or preacher to a full‐scale church wedding. In some cases, pre‐nuptial contracts were drawn up to protect personal property. Slaves ritually jumped over a broomstick or heard words read by their master or preacher. Common‐law marriages allowed couples who had lived together for several years to claim legal marital status.

A number of variables influenced the age at which men and women married. In colonial New England, most women married in their early twenties, men in their late twenties. Seventeenth‐century indentured servants in the South, required to remain single while fulfilling their indentures, wedded late. By the second and third generation after settlement, southern men were marrying in their mid‐ to late twenties and women in their late teens. Economic factors affected marriage age. Struggling immigrants in the nineteenth century tended to marry later than did the native‐born because poverty made it difficult to establish households. Without an inheritance or assured income, many young men could not afford to marry. Age at marriage remained relatively stable until the late 1940s and 1950s when it declined. It rose again in the 1960s, as more women pursued higher education and paid jobs, and by the 1980s, the average age when women first married reached a new high.

Gauging marital happiness is virtually impossible. That few marriages in the past ended in divorce does not mean that couples were happier, since laws, traditions, and religious beliefs made divorce difficult and few women had the means to live independently. Despite what is often assumed, the past was not a golden era of marital bliss, as numerous separations, public notices for runaway spouses, separations, and private lamentations in letters and diaries attest.

Parental involvement in children's marital choices has varied over time. In the colonial period, property influenced who and when one married. Daughters who needed a dowry and sons who required land to establish an independent household depended on parents, who could therefore exert some control, if not actually dictate the choice. Strict rules governed young women's courtship behavior because of the possibility of pregnancy and the importance of a prudent choice. Parental involvement declined by the mid‐eighteenth century, evidenced in part by siblings marrying out of birth order. By the nineteenth century, more women remained single owing to a shortage of men and more opportunities for females to survive on their own. By the late twentieth century parents usually played a minor role in their children's choice, though this varied among different cultural and ethnic groups.

Another change was the growing importance of romance in marriage and of love and a desire for personal happiness in selecting a spouse. Women, in particular, began by the early nineteenth century to favor suitors likely to fulfill their ideal of a companionate marriage. As romantic ideals of marriage spread, especially among middle‐class women, disappointment invariably increased as well, and the divorce rate climbed steadily from 1840 on. By the late nineteenth century, as women became better educated and gained some financial independence, divorce became a likelier option. The legal grounds for divorce were expanded as well, contributing to the rising rate. This phenomenon cut across all social classes, and many working‐class couples sought divorce. A 1909 Census Bureau study on marriage and divorce showed a significant increase in the divorce rate. In 1870, there were 81 divorces per 100,000 of the nation's married population; by 1900 this number rose to 200 divorces.

During the twentieth century, the divorce rate rose noticeably after each major war and dropped during the Depression of the 1930s, when many couples stayed together to survive tough times. The divorce rate rose sharply after 1965, peaking around 1980 and stabilizing thereafter. In the 1990s, about half of all marriages ended in divorce, giving the United States the highest divorce rate of any Western nation. Frequent divorces and remarriages created complex extended family relationships involving stepparents and stepchildren, half brothers and sisters, that in some respects resembled colonial households.

Some observers blamed the decline of the traditional family and high divorce rates on easy divorce laws, especially the initiation of so‐called no‐fault divorce in the 1970s. Others, however, viewed this phenomenon as less a result of changing laws and more a reflection of higher expectations about marriage and a safety valve for the more emotionally charged nuclear family setting. The high divorce rate may also reflect women's greater autonomy, with a corresponding lessening of tolerance for unrewarding relationships or a spouse's bad behavior.

In a legal sense, most twentieth century marriages involved monogamous, heterosexual relationships. In the past, some Native American tribes and Mormons practiced polygamy, but legislation largely ended this practice by the late nineteenth century. The 1990s brought a movement for legalizing same‐sex marriages, but it initially enjoyed little success. A modern and widespread alternative or precursor to marriage is cohabitation. From the 1960s on, increasing numbers of young people chose to live together without a legally binding ceremony, especially before they had children. Nevertheless, the majority of Americans eventually married, as they always had.
See also Courtship and Dating; Domestic Violence; Gay and Lesbian Rights Movement; Indian History and Culture; Life Stages; Mormonism; Puritanism; Slavery: Slave Families, Communities, and Culture; Social Class; Women's Rights Movements.

Bibliography

William O'Neill , Divorce in the Progressive Era, 1967.
Carl N. Degler , At Odds: Women and the Family in America from the Revolution to the Present, 1980.
Elaine Tyler May , Great Expectations: Marriage and Divorce in Post‐Victorian America, 1980.
Marilyn Salmon , Women and the Law of Property in Early America, 1986.
Elizabeth Pleck , Domestic Tyranny: The Making of American Social Policy against Family Violence from Colonial Times to the Present, 1987.
Stephen Mintz and and Susan Kellogg , Domestic Revolutions: A Social History of American Family Life, 1988.
Karen Lystra , Searching the Heart: Women, Men, and Romantic Love in Nineteenth Century America, 1989.
Andrew Cherlin , Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage, 1992.
Brenda Stevenson , Life in Black and White: Family and Community in the Slave South, 1996.
Jessica Weiss , To Have and to Hold: Marriage, the Baby Boom, and Social Change, 2000.

Sally G. McMillen